Soul Gardening

Losing It

I gained a little over 30 pounds when I was pregnant with Myles. My weight has always fluctuated 5 pounds one way or the other through the course of any given month and any time I got on the scale last summer, it could have read 120, 118 or 124. On the day I was induced, I weighed 156.

I know everyone's experience is different, but for me, the pregnancy weight has come off fairly easily. Breastfeeding helps a LOT. After the initial month of rapid loss, I've been averaging about 1/2 pound a week without doing much of anything, which is awesome. But I think I've hit a wall.

I have a post up today at The Full Mommy. I'm reviewing Ryka shoes for the Parent Bloggers Network. Head on over to see where I am with weight loss and what I think of Ryka's athletic shoes. 

 

Branching Out

It all started with this post, over a year ago. In the ensuing 16 months, I've reviewed a lot of products and services. I even won a $5,000 vacation last year for a site review post that I wrote. 

Now, I've joined forces with several talented bloggers to work on a new review site. You may have noticed our fancy button over there to the right in the sidebar.

We'll be reviewing products and services, providing information on things we love or hate and generally telling the naked truth about what's out there. I've got a review up today of the Toolbox for New Dads DVD.

There will be a little something for everyone. I hope you'll check us out! 

The Bilingual Edge - Book Review

As someone with a Masters degree in Communication, speech and language have always fascinated me. I've written before about how excited I am to watch and participate as Myles acquires language. In fact, we're planning on teaching him pre-verbal language skills with baby signs, starting around six months.

I was interested to read and review The Bilingual Edge, a book written by two women who are both linguistic researchers and parents, for several reasons:

• As part of my graduate work, I took several classes in linguistics and speech development. I've actually read research conducted by the authors, Kendall King and Alison Mackey
• I have seven years of Spanish language study, including a minor in Spanish, but I never had a chance to become fluent. At some point, I'd like to give Myles an opportunity to do what I didn't.
• Teaching a child a second language seems like a daunting task, hell, teaching them a first language is hard enough! This book promises to answer the questions "Why, When, and How to Teach Your Child a Second Language".

The authors are extremely knowledgeable and the book is easy to read and structured well. It offers information on how to choose a second language to teach your child, when to begin bilingual education and how to promote bilingualism at home.

I enjoyed the additional information provided regarding how children acquire language and different learning styles. The authors also provide information to debunk common myths about language learning.

The benefits of teaching children a second language are huge.  Being bilingual teaches children to think in different and more creative ways, it helps them to break down cultural barriers, and in today's global society, knowing a second language is clearly advantageous. But where do you start?The Bilingual Edge helps to answer that question by providing information on choosing the best language education program for your child.

I will say, I felt a bit that the authors, both of whom have a PhD in linguistics make it all sound a bit too easy. Teaching a child a second language is a huge commitment and it seems the authors gloss over that somewhat. On the other hand, this book provides a great jumping-off point for those interested in getting started and a lot of really rich information on the topic of bilingual education.

If you're interested in learning more about how children acquire language or in getting your child started on learning a second language, this book is a must-read. The Parent Bloggers Network has more reviews of The Bilingual Edge. It's interesting to get other perspectives on what is quickly becoming a new parenting trend.

Sometimes There Are No Easy Answers

This week, as part of a review for the Parent Bloggers Network, I read a book that was extremely difficult for me, emotionally. I chose to do this review purposely, knowing that it would probably be hard, but I had no idea how it was going to effect me. The book is called: "When Parents Hurt - Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along".

I don't have grown children, but I am an adult child who is estranged from my father. The issue for me is not that my dad and I "don't get along". It goes so much deeper than that. A few years ago, after seeing him for the first time in over five years, I wrote about my struggle to come to terms with my decision to not have him in my life.

"When Parents Hurt... " is meant to be a primer for parents who are having difficulty relating to or having relationships with teen or adult children. It's written for parents who have a desire to do what they can to repair broken relationships with their children or to help themselves deal with the personal aftermath of estrangement from a teen or adult child.

The book, written by Joshua Colman, Ph.D., provides an in depth explanation and history of how parenting has changed over the last century and the unique challenges that parents face today. It offers questionnaires and exercises for parents who wish to truly understand their role in the breakdown of relationships with their children, strategies for repairing those relationships when possible and tactics for healing personal wounds like the regret and guilt that come from broken familial bonds.

The book was difficult for me to read because it hit so close to home. Although this is not a book my father would ever read, I had a hard time imagining him reading it, seeking out this kind of advice. I had to check myself many times from becoming angry at the author for seemingly absolving parents of their role in alienating their children when in reality he provides a way for parents to see the situation from both sides.

It was difficult for me to accept that in some cases, the parent might not be 100% at fault for the breakdown in the relationship, that sometimes, even parents who do everything right can have a child who wants nothing to do with them. In my opinion, it is much more often the case that relationships are broken because parents have wronged their children through abuse, neglect or indifference.

It felt strange to me that Dr. Coleman would be advising parents who may have done very real things to ruin the relationships with their children. I had to open myself to the idea that these kinds of parents deserve compassion and forgiveness for often unforgivable behavior, if not from their children, at the very least from themselves.

I had to acknowledge that people can change and wish to make amends. I had to question what I would do in the unlikely event that my dad would ever admit what happened in our past and want to try to rebuild our relationship and that was extremely uncomfortable for me.

I don't blame my father for how my life turned out, as Dr. Coleman suggests is often the case in strained parent/adult child relationships. On the contrary, I have an incredibly good life in spite of  the parenting (or lack thereof) I received from my father.

I had to work extremely hard to overcome his influence and while I have forgiven him, I can't have him in my life any more affecting me or my family. I don't want to hurt him. I just don't want to have to deal with him and his issues because it's simply too hard.

"When Parents Hurt..." is a book for parents who really want to work toward understanding what went wrong in their relationships with their children. If there is a parent out there who wants to put forth the effort to understand and change in order to repair a broken relationship or help themselves to feel better about the way things turned out with their children, this book would be a great starting point. One caveat though, the author doesn't mention this and I'm not an expert, but I think the book would best be used in conjunction with, rather than in place of therapy.

This is also an excellent book for those who want to avoid making the same mistakes their parents did. It offers great information on parenting in our current culture of fear and consumerism and it made me even more firm in my resolve to raise my own child in a way that doesn't promote conspicuous consumption and a sense of entitlement.

Ultimately, I found this book helpful as a proactive measure and I think it would be a great tool for parents who are suffering and looking for answers and ways to help themselves heal. I do feel Dr. Coleman gets a bit bogged down in the psychology and the average layperson may find it a bit too technical, but overall it provides an abundance of great information on the subject.

It's striking that through reading this book and the other reviews, there are so many people who are estranged from one or both of their parents. Whether you're a parent whose child has distanced themself from you, or you are the one who has chosen to cut off relations with your parent, there are no easy answers and even though there seem to be so many of us, the guilt and shame that we carry can't be easily shaken.

For me there is little chance that my relationship with my father will ever change, because he will never change. I've come to terms with that and have moved on. This book reminded me that whatever the situation, and whichever side you fall on, it's so important to forgive yourself and the other party. As difficult as that can be, as far as I'm concerned, sometimes that's the best we can hope for.

Things I Love

Here are a few products I've been loving lately.

Seventh Generation chlorine free diapers and wipes - This is an unsolicited review: My friend Trina turned me on to these. I've been looking for a greener alternative to disposable diapers. I tried G-diapers, which are flushable, compliments of Kristen at Motherhood Uncensored. They work great for wet diapers, but not so much for the poopy ones and I've heard the same thing about cloth.

Seventh Generation provides a great way to do something green by helping eliminate your output of dioxin, an environmental pollutant that is a known carcinogen. The products work really well and the price at Drugstore.com for a case delivered to your door is comparable to Huggies or Pampers.

Febreze Candles - I got to try these for free, before they were on the market. I'm a sucker for scented candles and unlike most of the brands you can buy at the supermarket, I really liked this one. The scent was pleasant and not overpowering.

As an added feature, the Febreze candle has odor elimination technology, rather than just masking odors in the air. I used it in my kitchen after cooking chili and a pot of spaghetti sauce and it really did work to keep the food smells from lingering.

Lamaze Toys Freddie the Firefly - This toy has enabled me to take a shower or eat with both hands on more than one occasion. My friend gave it to us because she has one that her almost two year old twin girls have loved since they were Myles' age. He will stare at it, laugh at it and talk to it for at least 20 minutes, which is a minor miracle.

Sebastian Potion 9 - I don't usually have more than 10 minutes in the shower so half the time I don't get to shave my legs or condition my hair. This leave-in conditioner, which I've been using for over 10 years is awesome. It smells great, adds texture and keeps my curly hair from turning into an afro when I don't get a chance to condition in the shower.

Body, Soul And Baby - Book Review

When I was newly pregnant with Myles, the first few months of my prenatal care were administered by the fertility specialist I had been seeing since I moved to Florida a few months before. He knew that I had had trouble conceiving and staying pregnant. He knew that I had lost two early pregnancies. Presumably, he knew how nervous and afraid I was this time around.

Imagine my disappointment, fear and uncertainty when at the 8 week ultrasound he told me the heartbeat was lower than where he would have expected. When I asked him what this meant for the baby and the viability of this pregnancy he replied and I quote: "You have a 50/50 chance. Either you'll bleed or you won't".

That was the last time I ever saw him.  I continued taking the Progesterone supplements he had prescribed (which I truly believe are what made it possible for Myles to be here today) and I made a conscious decision to stay as positive as I could about our chances of having a healthy baby.

Then, I immediately began looking for a medical provider who would support my more spiritual approach to pregnancy and who would make more of an effort to recognize and address my needs. Dr. Tracy Gaudet, author of "Body, Soul, And Baby"  - A Doctor's Guide to the Complete Pregnancy Experience, from Preconception to Postpartum, is the prenatal care provider I wish I had.

Dr Gaudet, who is the Director of the Duke Center for Integrative Medicine, has written the hands-down best book about the pregnancy experience that I have come across. "Body, Soul and Baby..." contains the information that I had to gather from ten different online and print sources, all in one book.

This book places a refreshing emphasis on pregnancy as a natural condition, rather than an illness or disease to be treated. It recognizes the journey of pregnancy and how women change physically, emotionally and spiritually. It encourages women to listen to and trust their bodies, rather than fight them or work against them as is so often the case in modern medicine.

Through an integrated approach, incorporating both traditional medicine and alternative treatments such as acupuncture, self hypnosis and chiropractic, Dr. Gaudet has written a book that is one part reference, one part workbook and one part anecdotal stories for women who want a truly holistic pregnancy experience.

Unlike other popular pregnancy books such as The Girlfriend's Guide and What to Expect, this book provides straightforward honest information with no agenda. Without being judgmental or preachy, Dr. Gaudet imparts wisdom and knowledge about how best to care for your body, mind and spirit during pregnancy to ensure your baby is as healthy as possible.

She gives the kind of advice women really need to hear during pregnancy. For example, while she advocates making a birth plan, she is quick to point out that very often things do not happen the way we expect them to and counsels women to be flexible in their thinking.

The book contains exercises and tools for "tuning in" to the pregnant body so that women can be mindful and aware of what is happening every step of the way. This not only creates a more spiritual pregnancy experience, but also allows to pick up important cues from our bodies. One caveat when it comes to using the exercises that I found in my own experiences: You have to pay attention, you have to practice and you have to believe in the mind/body connection in order for them to work.

I truly cannot say enough good things about this book. It provides in depth information about what is happening to the body during pregnancy. It addresses fears with useful information based on medical science as well as traditional wisdom. It provides real stories of real women who have experienced pregnancy.

From choosing a caregiver to knowing what will happen during labor and delivery, this book provides all the practical information a pregnant woman needs, tempered with the kind of great advice you'd expect to receive from your mother or your best friend.

Dr. Gaudet really gets it. She is incredibly knowledgeable and has a genuine care and concern for her patients. "Body, Soul, And Baby..." should be required reading for all OB and fertility specialists.

And if you know a woman who is or wants to be in touch with her body and spirit during pregnancy and beyond rather than sleepwalk through the experience, this book is a must-have.

If you're interested in reading more reviews of "Body, Soul and Baby..." or in winning a free autographed copy of the book, check out the Parent Bloggers Network.

Fiber and Blueberries - Review

I know, I know, I seem to have an unhealthy obsession with talking about fiber and fiber related issues, but trust me, after pregnancy and breastfeeding, these things are more relevant than I would have ever imagined.  So when I was asked to try two new fiber products from Metamucil, I accepted, hoping to find something to supplement my fiber poor diet, which right now consists of whatever I can eat with one hand, or prepare in less than five minutes.

The products:

Fiber-sure clear mixing fiber supplement - This product claims to be flavor-free, clear mixing and non thickening. It can be sprinkled on food, used in baking or added to any liquid. I had my doubts, but I followed the directions and mixed a heaping teaspoon with water. After stirring for a few seconds I was surprised to find it really did dissolve entirely.

Then came the taste test. Other than a very, very slight sweet taste in the water, I would not have known that there had been anything added at all and there was no gritty residue whatsoever. If you mixed this with juice or put it into food, you would never know it was there at all. Pretty cool.

But does it work? Each serving contains five grams of fiber and according to the package, you can use it up to 3 times a day. I tried it twice a day for a week and honestly, all I got was a really horrible case of gas and and little to no relief from the breastfeeding related constipation I've had since Myles was born.

I would have upped my dosage to the recommended three times a day, but I was afraid of what might happen, given my reaction. Holy God. The Gas. Not pleasant for me or anyone who had to spend any time with me. So this product is definitely not one I would use again.

Fiber product number two (HaHaHa!) was Metamucil Berry Burst Smooth Texture. - Again, a serving is  a rounded teaspoon and each contains 5 grams of fiber.

I don't need fiber badly enough to subject myself to this stuff more than once. Gack! The texture is definitely smooth, and not gritty. Instead it's thick and gelatinous. I guess the good news is that that goopy mixture slid pretty easily down my throat - maybe that's what they meant by "smooth" texture.

Lastly, here's my take on TrueBlue Blueberry juice cocktail:

These juices are all natural, though not organic, claim to be high in antioxidants, and have 25% fewer calories than most cranberry juice cocktails. I tried the blueberry/grape juice.

Like most juice "cocktails", each 8oz serving contains only 25% juice and clocks in at 110 calories, with 100% of the daily requirement of vitamin C. On the ingredient list, water is listed first, followed by blueberry juice from concentrate then grape. One added benefit is that it's sweetened with cane sugar and not high fructose corn syrup.  

It tastes good, although more grapey and not as strongly blueberry as I would have expected based on the packaging and name. Jeff and I have been drinking this every morning with our vitamins and Jeff has mixed it with vodka to make a delicious and refreshing alternative to a vodka/cranberry.

All in all, the juice is good. Although I'm not sure it contains enough blueberry to pack a real punch, it's a great alternative to other juice cocktails. I priced out a similar size bottle of pure organic blueberry juice and the cost was about three times as much, but if you're looking for a real 100% juice health benefit, it's probably worth it to you to pay a little extra.

If you like juice cocktails, give this one a try. It's good, lower in calories than regular cranberry cocktails. The taste is a nice alternative and I like the fact that it doesn't contain any additives or corn syrup.   

 

Parent-centric Search Engine Saves Time and Frustration - Review

Here's a list of my last few internet searches:

• Breastmilk/Pinkeye cure - it actually works, although getting the milk into your eye and your baby's eye can be problematic.
• Infant food intake guidelines - I generally have no idea how much this kid is eating or how much he's supposed to be eating.
• Cloth diapers - Hahaha!
• Nursing bras - I've tried four different kinds and I STILL haven't found one that doesn't have ten hooks up the back, or two inch wide straps or that you can wear under anything but a huge T-shirt. Hate.
• Bonnaroo - we can't be all parents all the time. I'm sad to report  that I'm missing Sting and the Police and the White Stripes this year. But we're going next year with Myles. In an RV. Rock on! 
• Colic symptoms versus infant reflux. In a way, I'm relieved that Myles has reflux and not colic. At least we can treat reflux and he's actually doing a lot better now.
• Infant sleep guidelines - again, I have no earthly idea what's normal.

Can you see a pattern here? If you would have checked my search terms this time last year, you would have likely found a few questions about infertililty and a lot more travel and cooking searches.

Historically, like almost everyone else on the planet, I've used Google almost exclusively. It usually got me where I needed to go, after wading through the pay sites and the random search term related sites that had nothing to do with what I was looking for.

I'll still use Google to search for music, travel and cooking sites. But now, if I need to search for something related to parenting, I'll use Light Iris. 

This new website provides a search engine that automatically filters out the pay sites, the ads and the random results that take you to porn sites when you really wanted tips on breastfeeding with huge boobs. Their mission, according to the site, is to "provide new moms with useful tools & information specific to their needs".

The great thing about the Light Iris search function is that it's powered by Google, so you get the same relevant results that you would if you searched Google, with none of the garbage to wade through, so it really does save time. I found a couple of really excellent breastfeeding sites using the Light Iris search engine.

If you visit the site, be sure to enter the sweepstakes to win $3,000 worth of gift cards to stores like Ann Taylor and Apple.

You can check out more reviews of Light Iris as well as a host of other products and services at Parent Bloggers Network. Along with Light Iris, they're also sending one lucky blogger to Blogher. 

Check out the link to enter to win a two day pass to the Blogher conference in Chicago where you'll get to hang out with some really cool, interesting women and rub elbows with blog rockstars too. Sadly, we'll be diving in the Florida Keys that week or I would be there right along with you.  

 

Sleep Saver, Intercom, Lifesaver - Product Review

Up until two weeks ago, I didn't have much experience with baby gear. Actually I had no experience with baby gear and by no means am I an expert now. But what I will say is that in the last two weeks, besides swaddling blankets and diapers, the baby monitor has been the single most important baby product in our home.

When the folks at PHILIPS and Haas MS&L asked me to test drive the Philips LCD Digital Baby Monitor last year I was happy to agree.

I thought since we would be using a co-sleeper, the monitor wouldn't be something we needed right away. Like many ideas I had about how we would be parenting before Myles was born, things haven't exactly worked out as I expected. Turns out, after the first night home in which I didn't let the baby out of my sight, we're using the hell out of that monitor.

The first issue is that since he was so small at birth, it's been a challenge getting Myles to breastfeed. He's finally over six pounds and he's getting stronger and getting the hang of it. Hopefully in the next week or so, we'll be able to start stretching feedings out past every 2-3 hours.

Since I'm breastfeeding and pumping, each feeding takes at least an hour and requires what seems like six hands and arms. Jeff has been great with doing the mid-feeding diaper change or burp to give me a break and I can call him on the monitor whenever I need him to help me.  

Secondly, Jeff and I have worked out a system by which he takes the last feeding of the night so that I can get four hours of sleep. I'm a light sleeper, so we've been keeping Myles in his own room and Jeff's been staying in the living room with the monitor. Then, when Jeff's shift is up, he brings the monitor into the bedroom for me.

Here are some of the features of the SCD 589 model we're using:

• It's small and sleek. The parent unit is about the size of a large orange and the rechargeable remote unit is smaller than a cell phone.
• Digital display with soft backlight is unobtrusive, but you can set the parent unit to emit a soft starry light to soothe the baby
• Parent unit plays music and allows you to monitor the temperature in the baby's room
• The monitor boasts zero interference and thus far we've had none. No static, no feedback, nothing. It automatically chooses an unused channel and as soon as it detects another device using the channel it will switch over. Crystal clear sound transmits the sounds from the baby's room and nothing else
• No need to worry if it's working. There's an indicator and alarm to let you know if the parent and remote units are linked. If the connection is lost, the alarm will beep to let you know. The remote unit will also let you know when the battery needs to be recharged
• Volume control and sound level lights let you choose what type of monitoring suits you best
• Intercom/walkie-talkie function on the remote unit allows you to talk to the baby or to whoever is in the baby's room

This monitor has really been a lifesaver for us thus far. It's allowing us to get more sleep and providing peace of mind.

 

  If you're in the market for such a thing, I highly recommend this one.

Review - The Dangerous Book For Boys

“Love the sea, the ringing beach and the open downs. Keep clean, body and mind”
– Sir Frederick Treves

So begins "The Dangerous Book For Boys", a clearinghouse of information the authors feel all modern boys should know, written by brothers Hal and Conn Iggulden. 

These days, when most kids spend only a few minutes a day outside, opting for time in front of a television or computer, the book’s premise and mission is to stimulate imagination and get kids up and out the door to explore the natural world and create adventures for themselves. 

The book, which is visually lovely and well written contains a variety of illustrated how to’s, from making the perfect paper airplane to tying a bowline knot. Additionally the authors have lovingly researched and presented a wide assortment of topics ranging from Native American code talkers and card tricks to Shakespeare and Greek mythology.

In general, I liked this book very much. The subject matter is vast and interesting. The how to's are explained and illustrated well enough to be easy to follow. The subject matter is appropriate for kids as young as nine or ten, but will also be of interest to pre-teens and young adults. Both my husband and father in law were inordinately excited after leafing through the book. The appeal to “boys” of all ages is clear.

And therein is my only issue with the authors. I understand the title of the book; you have to have an angle and a target demographic, right? However in my opinion the topics would be just as interesting and beneficial to girls as to boys.

I would have loved a book like this when I was nine years old. Reading through it took me right back to the days when I used to seek my own adventures. So it seems a little limiting to only consider half of the population when trying to sell a book as full of information as this one.

Overall, I would highly recommend “The Dangerous Book…” for girls AND boys from ages eight to eighty. There is truly something for everyone.

To read more reviews of the book and get some different perspectives, check out the entire campaign at Parent Bloggers Network or visit the official website for more information and for a chance to win your own copy of the book.