Soul Gardening

80/20

He's been with me in one way or another for almost the last 20 months. The longest time we've spent apart since last April? Five hours. But that's about to change.

Jeff and I have tickets to Langerado. It's only an hour and a half away and we couldn't pass up an opportunity to see The Beastie Boys. We're headed out tomorrow.

We thought about taking Myles with us; we've done it before and in fact we're taking him with us to Bonnaroo in June when we go by RV. But this time the camping conditions are less than conducive to having a small child and we really just wanted to get away by ourselves. So we're taking our first overnight trip without the kid.

Myles will be staying with Jeff's parents for the night tomorrow night. And who knows, if things go well, we may even stay over on Saturday too. I can't tell you how excited I am not only to get to see some amazing live music, but to have some time to myself, to reconnect with Jeff, drink too much if I feel like it, sleep in on Saturday (oh my GOD!) and most of all just chill out and not be a mom for a little while.

Of course I may be the only woman at the entire festival who has to take breaks for quality time with a breast pump and I sort of hate the idea of spending all that time pumping milk that I'm just going to toss out. But trust me, it won't be much good to anyone anyway.

I'm positively giddy and only a little bit sorry to be leaving Myles behind. I know he's in good hands with his grandparents. And call me crazy, but I think that this little trip is going to be good for all three of us.

Soul Food

It was all good. All of it.

The camping was fantastic. The first night was a little rough but after he got accustomed to the sensory overload, Myles was a champ and slept better than I did. He loved looking around at all the people and listening to the music.

We camped with some good friends and had the opportunity to meet several other great people through them. The weather was perfect. The venue has the most beautiful and natural outdoor ampitheatre I've ever seen. The music was phenomenal. The crowd was kind and kid friendly. There were drum circles every night and music all day for four days.

Jeff and I got a chance to remember why we love festivals and live music so much. We decompressed, reconnected and found many ways to share our passion for music with Myles.  It was truly just what my soul needed.

Self portrait during Donna the Buffalo.

Chilling on the blanket for Railroad Earth. 

Myles finds The Mammals very relaxing

Water Music

Lalalalalala. I've been looking for something to do to pass the time (which is moving excruciatingly slowly) until the sellers (hopefully) come back with a counter offer and I think I've got it. But I need your help.

First a little back story:

I'm planning for a midwife attended birth, at a birthing center rather than a hospital. As long as I remain free of complications for the next 11 weeks, we should be all set for a natural, low-tech water birth.

The facility we've chosen is more like a cozy Bed and Breakfast than a medical office and Jeff and I will be basically left alone to labor on our own. I'm planning to hire a doula to be there with advice and encouragement, but for the most part, it'll just be Jeff and I, with visits from the midwife and her assistant to monitor our progress and check on the baby every so often. We're taking classes this month in hypnobirthing to help with relaxation and pain management.

To me, childbirth is not a disease or a condition to be treated or "dealt" with. It's my body, doing what it was made to do. It will be the most challenging thing I have ever done I know, but I'm really excited for the prospect.

So here's my idea: Jeff and I are both really into music and as part of the birth experience, we definitely want to have music to play during preparation for childbirth and delivery. That's were you come in.

I'd love to do a CD exchange, similar to those I've done in the past. It can be any type of music and the tone of the CD can be relaxing, energizing, irreverent, heartwarming, funny, whatever. We both have broad and eclectic tastes in music so be as creative as you want.

Just make sure you label the CD so we know what kind of music is on it and we can play accordingly depending on what kind of mood I'm in at the time. In return, I'll send you a kick ass mix CD of what I'm currently listening to.

And just to make the whole thing more exciting, for whichever CD is playing at the moment of delivery, the creator will receive a special thank-you gift from us. I expect the whole process will last at least 12 hours from start to finish, if not longer for a first time pregnancy, so we'll need at least 12 CDs. If you'd like to participate, leave me a comment.

I was just going to make my own music, but it's going to be so much more fun this way!

2006 - The Concert Year in Review

Anyone who knows me, or has been reading here for awhile is aware of how important music, and especially live music is in my life. Jeff and I both love attending concerts and festivals and in the last few years, we have seen a lot of great music.

Since I started writing here, I've documented much of the music we've had a chance to see and hear. Here's a link if you're interested in last year's review.

Jeff and I both have pretty eclectic taste in music, and our individual preferences complement each other fairly well. In 2006, we got a pretty good mix of both.

• Audioslave - This is one of Jeff's favorites, I missed the whole Seattle/grunge thing in the early 90's, favoring old folk music at the time, but Jeff was right there at Lollapalooza. I have to admit, Chris Cornell is an incredible songwriter and Tom Morello is one of the best rock guitarists playing today.
• Derek Webb and Sandra McCracken - I was introduced to this singer/songwriter pair by MDog when we were both living in Ohio. I got a chance to meet her and hang out for a night when they came to Columbus to perform. Very spiritual, soulful and talented performers who clearly believe in the message they are sending.
• Yonder Mountain String Band - We saw them for two nights, closing out their tour at an indoor venue in Columbus. They're one of my favorite modern bluegrass bands and since it was the last stop on their tour this year, they jammed well into the night.
• Ben Taylor/Tristan Prettyman - The son of James Taylor and Carly Simon. He is incredibly talented. Tristan Prettyman opened up for him and I liken her to Alana Davis or a kinder, gentler Ani DiFranco. She has a collaboration with G-Love right now called Beautiful that is pretty cool.
• Dar Williams and Jules Shear - Dar is one of my favorite female performers. She writes songs that speak to me. I've seen her several times and she never disappoints.
• Catie Curtis - A female singer/songwriter from Boston. Think Indigo Girls or Rickie Lee Jones
• *The Wood Brothers - of Medeski, Martin and Wood
• *Andrew Bird
• *Devendra Banhart
• *G-Love and Special Sauce
• *Ben Folds
• *Death Cab for Cutie
• *Tom Petty with Stevie Nicks
• *My Morning Jacket with Andrew Bird
• *Grace Potter and the Nocturnals
• *Rusted Root
• *Beck
• *Radiohead
• *Be Your Own Pet
• *Deadboy and the Elephantmen
• *Matisyahu
• *Bonnie Raitt
• *Phil Lesh with Joan Osborne
• North Mississippi Allstars - Awesome mix of blues, roots rock, funk and bluegrass. This was the baby's first concert.

I realize this coming year is probably going to see a bit of a drop in our concert attendance, but we are planning on bringing the baby with us to outdoor concerts as much as we possibly can.

* We saw all of these bands at Bonnaroo. You can click on the link if you're interested in a more in-depth description of that experience.

And now comes my favorite part of the concert retrospective post where I ask all of you: What was your favorite concert/live music experience from 2006?

Emo-Not Just For Pre-Teen Girls Anymore

This post brought to you by my hormones.

Jeff and I have been enjoying a free trial subscription to Rhapsody music service that we got as part of a home entertainment package. If you are into music at all, I highly recommend it.

For a monthly fee of $9.99 you have access to pretty much all music ever made. If you buy at least one cd a month, it pays for itself. I've been scrolling through the library every day and I haven't been able to stump it yet. The only thing that is sucky is that you still have to pay extra for downloads, which means you can really only enjoy the music in your house.

So for the last four weeks, I've had access to a world of music that I never had before. I've been enjoying Nick Drake (thanks Mignon), Elliot Smith (gracias, Melissa) and Calexico/Iron and Wine (Schmutzie, you have impeccable taste).

The down side to this is that whenever the pregnancy hormones start raging, I can sit here and play every song that has ever made me cry. And believe me, I have.

Here is a short list of songs that have made me weep in the last few weeks:

Jane Siberry - Calling All Angels

Kate Bush - This Woman's Work

REM - Everybody Hurts

Sia - Breathe Me

10,000 Maniacs - How You've Grown

Deathcab For Cutie - What Sarah Said

Sarah McLachlan - Push

Jim Croce - Time In A Bottle

Plumb - Better

Dar Williams - The One Who Knows

So, because I am a glutton for punishment, AND I have access to every song ever written, I will ask you. What songs make you cry? I'll give them a whirl and report back.

Which Stage Are We Going To Again?

Four days, over 100 bands, and over 80,000 people. Some may not see the appeal in an event like Bonnaroo. The entire weekend it was blazingly hot in Tennessee. I was in my element.

Jeff and I managed to see 17 bands. It was difficult to get to everything we wanted to see because there was just so much going on at once. The event was flawlessly planned and as far as I could tell, went off with very little problems.

In the entire time we were there, we never saw a single fight, in fact we never even witnessed anyone behaving badly. It was utterly amazing. Everyone was there for the same reason. Everyone was accepting of the people around them, no matter how similar or different they might be. Everyone was kind. A lot. It was quite an impressive thing to see.

There were people from every possible walk of life, in addition to the hippies, old and new. I felt like I was among my people. The conclusion that Jeff and I drew was that the event, while planned to the hilt was an opportunity for people to come together and have a great time without a lot of outside intervention.

The event staff was basically there to help if you needed them, but was otherwise unobtrusive, so concert goers were free to do their own thing, whatever that might be. And do our own thing we did.

Here is the list of bands we got to see. It's pretty amazing and I think my head is still reeling a bit:

• The Wood Brothers - of Medeski, Martin and Wood
• Andrew Bird
• Devendra Banhart
• G-Love and Special Sauce
• Ben Folds
• Death Cab for Cutie
• Tom Petty with Stevie Nicks
• My Morning Jacket with Andrew Bird
• Grace Potter and the Nocturnals
• Rusted Root
• Beck
• Radiohead
• Be Your Own Pet
• Deadboy and the Elephantmen
• Matisyahu
• Bonnie Raitt
• Phil Lesh with Joan Osborne

We also caught a bit of Elvis Costello and the last song of Oysterhead. There was music playing everywhere we went from morning until late at night.

It's almost impossible to convey what 80,000 people look like all in one place at the same time. At one point during Radiohead, I looked out at the crowd and it looked like a rippling sea of humanity, as if the crowd were a living thing. This picture was taken before Beck started playing, by the time Radiohead came on, you literally could not see the ground within 3/4 mile of the stage.

Some highlights:

• Seeing Stevie Nicks perform with Petty. I never thought I would have the opportunity and she still rocks
• Devendra Banhart is like a new age folk shaman and he is amazing live.

• Having Andrew Bird come out and play with My Morning Jacket on their late night set was a dream come true for me.

• Beck is incredible and really funny. The band actually made a short film featuring marionette likenesses of themselves walking around Bonnaroo with a video camera that they played onstage.
• Radiohead - Good lord, if you are a fan you have to see them live. It was hands down one of the best stadium shows I have ever seen.
• Matisyahu - I wrote before about him and how impressed I was with the message behind his music. I can tell you he is sincere and he is a great musician.
• Phil Lesh with Joan Osborne - I had no idea she was touring with them and it was so much fun. I danced, I hula-hooped.... what a blast

One disappointment, and you know it pains me to say it but I thought this might be the case: Death Cab for Cutie is not a good live band. Perhaps they are best seen in a small venue with really good acoustics, but I wouldn't recommend seeing them at an outdoor venue. Additionally they didn't have much of a stage presence which made me a little sad.

Jeff and I are already talking about going back next year. The camping was great, the tent really being just a place to lay  your head between bands. We met some really great people on both sides of our campsite.

It was a weekend so far removed from the ordinary that we couldn't help but decompress and relax. It was the first time Jeff and I have spent that much time alone together since our honeymoon. 

It was just what we needed.

Why Can't Every Day Be Bonnaroo?

We're back. There is dirt under my finger and toe nails and in my ears and nose. I need a shower really badly, haven't shaved in a few days.  I can't wait to sleep in my own bed and my hips ache from dancing. How fucking cool is that?

It was an incredible weekend all around and I have some stories to tell and pictures to share when I get caught up tomorrow - my first day of unemployment.

My life has never been quite this strange, but I am loving every minute of it.

Songs of Love and Healing

Having grown up in a strictly fanatical fundamentalist church, the only choice ever offered to me when it came to religion was fundamentalism or the fires of hell. To me, those options seemed frighteningly similar.

When I was in elementary school, I decided that fundamentalism specifically and religion in general wasn't for me. As a young adult, I spent a lot of time studying many of the traditional western religions, as well as Buddism and a few of the more dogmatic non-Christian religions before deciding that none of them really fit 100% with my belief system.

For me, agnosticism is not so much a choice to reject all religion, but rather a way to keep my options open and to explore my spirituality in a broader framework. That said I'm not a very religious person and do not attend church.

I have been working toward being more open to others who are involved in organized religion and who find strength and peace in their beliefs. This has been a personal challenge for me, as a recovering fundamentalist. I am only just coming to fully understand things about myself and my motivations through being open to ideas that I never would have been able to consider 5 years ago.

This weekend on our trip to Pittsburgh, Jeff and I listened to music from the upcoming Bonnaroo festival. We've already seen a good number of the bands who will be performing and own much of their music. But there are several newer artists that we have been trying to familiarize ourselves with before June. One of these is the hasidic reggae/hip-hop artist, Matisyahu.

On first listening to the album, Live At Stubb's, I was struck by the quality of the musicians and the performances. These are a bunch of white, Jewish guys from Pennsylvania and New York and they play reggae that sounds more like they are straight from Jamaica. There are several songs on the album, especially tracks 3 and 5 that are near perfect from a musical standpoint.

We listened to the album a second time and that's when I began to realize the lyrics are all about Judaism and the experiences of the hasidic faith. Historically, I have taken issue with bands like Creed, who profess to be Christian, yet seem to be cashing in on their faith, talking the talk with their lyrics, Christian in name only. (On a side note, I personally find Scott Stapp to be an ego-maniacal, marginally talented, tool, but that has little bearing on this post.)

I don't know much about Matisyahu. I know that the lead singer is a practicing hasidic Jew in his mid twenties, who was not raised as such. He briefly left the less fundamental faith of his family as a teenager and followed Phish, another band I love, around the US. He wears the traditional hasidic garb on stage and follows hasidic law, even as it relates to his contact with women, which is to say he is not allowed to have physical contact with any woman but his wife.

I wonder if hasidic faith has any specific rule against being a musical performer. I wonder if Matisyahu is cashing in on his religion as a way to sell records, as I feel Creed has done. In listening to his music, the lyrics are joyful and uplifting and life-affirming. I am keenly interested to see Matisyahu perform for that reason alone.

I hope he believes in his music and the endeavor of representing his faith through his performance. What it comes down to for me, in the end, is if a performer is overtly religious, it is not necessarily of any importance what religion they subscribe to; it is important to me that they are sincere.

I want to have hope that young people of all faiths are beginning to be able to see past the old, outmoded beliefs of their fathers and open their eyes to new ways of thinking and being within the framework of their religion. It is the only way we will be able to leave the stringent, exclusionary and divisionist beliefs of fundamentalism behind us in American culture and on the world stage.

Matisyahu seems earnest. His music is beautiful and well performed. I am looking forward to seeing him in concert, even if I am not able to shake his hand afterward.

From the Bonnaroo artists page:

Matisyahu simply seeks to serve as a conduit for the messages of peace and unity that flow through him, to improve the world the world by sharing his music, and without letting ego or worldly desires interfere in that communication. "That's what I'm aiming for," he admits. "I don't think I've fully gotten there, but that's the goal."

To me, that is what it's all about. I can't wait to see him perform.

King Without A Crown - Matisyahu

(click the link for full lyrics)

What's this feeling?
My love will rip a hole in the ceiling
Givin' myself to you from the essence of my being
Sing to my God all these songs of love and healing

And if you're interested in more information and some differing opinions about Matisyahu, check out these links.

http://music.ign.com/articles/701/701427p1.html

http://www.villagevoice.com/music/0616,hunter,72867,22.html

http://star.txstate.edu/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1305

Concert Of A Lifetime

Jeff and I met at a weekend long festival concert in Atlanta six years ago in May. Since then, we have returned to that festival every year, even flying in from Columbus the last two years. We have had an opportunity to see some incredible performances there over the years. There is nothing I enjoy more than live music and the atmosphere  and energy generated at concerts and festivals. It feeds my spirit like few things can. I am incredibly lucky that Jeff enjoys live music as much as I do. This year, the promoters of the Midtown Music Festival in Atlanta are re-tooling the entire event and have decided to take the year off. It will be the first year since 1998 that I have not attended and even longer for Jeff. We had been kicking around the idea of traveling to New Orleans for Jazz Fest instead of our pilgrimage to Atlanta. Then, last month we saw the lineup for Bonnaroo in Manchester, Tennessee. Trying to be responsible adults, we debated the efficacy of scheduling a weekend concert during a time when we might be trying to move. Who knew where we would even be living by mid June? We questioned the idea of a three day outdoor festival, in which we would be camping in tents with no running water or electricity when I might be pregnant. We weighed the cost of the tickets, coupled with travel expenses. Then we looked at the lineup again, and said Fuck It. We're going to Bonnaroo June 16-18. We may have to fly in from Florida rent a car and buy camping equipment on the way. Or if we are still living in Ohio, which at this point seems likely, we will drive the 7 hours to Tennessee with our camping gear. On the day of my 35th birthday, June 15th, we will be on our way to Bonnaroo. Who knows where we will be living, or if I will be pregnant. And honestly, who cares? Did you SEE this lineup? Every time I look at it, I feel all warm and happy inside. Radiohead

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

Phil Lesh & Friends

Beck

Elvis Costello & the Imposters

Oysterhead

Bonnie Raitt

Death Cab for Cutie

moe.

Bright Eyes

The Neville Brothers

Bela Fleck & The Flecktones

Buddy Guy

Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley

Ben Folds

Common

Robert Randolph & The Family Band

Dr. John

Sonic Youth

Les Claypool

Matisyahu

G. Love & Special Sauce

Umphrey's McGee

My Morning Jacket

Ricky Skaggs & Kentucky Thunder

Steel Pulse

Mike Gordon & Ramble Dove

Cat Power

Medeski Martin & Wood

Nickel Creek

Gomez

Atmosphere

Steve Earle

Blues Traveler

Disco Biscuits

Amadou & Mariam

Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks

The Dresden Dolls

Son Volt

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

Jerry Douglas

Soulive

Rusted Root

Devendra Banhart Band

Donavon Frankenreiter

Mike Doughty

Sasha

Grace Potter & the Nocturnals

The Magic Numbers

Bill Frisell

Seu Jorge

Bettye LaVette

Dungen

Shooter Jennings

Rebirth Brass Band

Robinella

Andrew Bird

Ivan Neville's Dumpstaphunk

Steel Train

Jackie Greene

Devotchka

The Wood Brothers

dios (malos)

Toubab Krewe

The Motet

Marah

I-Nine

Matt Costa

Balkan Beat Box

Tortured Soul

The Cat Empire

The Dark Side

I received my mix CD from Julie on Tuesday and it has been in constant rotation in my car and at work. Many of the artists that she included, like Depeche Mode, Nine Inch Nails and Ministry took me back to a time in my life I haven't thought about in a while.

I discovered Depeche Mode in the mid '80s when Black Celebration and Music For the Masses brought them to the forefront of American pop. This is around the same time that I discovered Pink Floyd and Siouxsie and the Banshees.

I was a weekend pot smoker for most of high school and college, so this music fit in well with my lifestyle. I also fancied myself a disaffected youth as most 15 year olds do, so these songs became my anthems.

When I heard Trent Reznor's first album in 1990, I was transfixed. My mother had died the year before and I was angry, bitter, brooding, pissed at the world and sometimes confrontational. This music gave me a voice.

For as long as I can remember, music has held a certain amount of catharsis for me. Wherever I have been in my life, the music that I have embraced at the time has been a clear indicator of where my head was.

I lived with anger constantly smoldering beneath the surface of my life into my mid 20s. It was almost palpable and it didn't take much to set me off. I eventually realized that my rage was not serving me well, but it took years.

After a lot therapy and work on my own, I finally moved past it. For many years after, I couldn't listen to the music that had offered me such a release at one time. It made me too sad to realize how much time I had wasted being stuck in petulance, contention and resentment.

For my 30th birthday, my friends threw me a surprise party. Someone gave me a gift of a CD with music from the 80s and one of the songs was People Are People by Depeche Mode. When I heard the song, it made me suddenly long for the music that I hadn't listened to in such a long time.

That night, in the middle of the party, I went and dug out a box of old cassette tapes that I hadn't listened to in at least five years. I spent the rest of the night playing DJ, picking songs from Depeche Mode, Nine Inch Nails, They Might Be Giants and Bauhaus and dancing like a crazy person to electronic and industrial music in my living room with my friends. The spell was finally broken.

Admittedly, and I'm almost ashamed to say, these days, my music choices are somewhat kinder and gentler than what I listened to in the 80s and 90s. I still enjoy Audioslave, 311 and Nine Inch Nails. The Beastie Boys and RHCP are some of my all time favorites, but for the most part I am a fan of singer songwriters who play acoustic guitar and jam bands who play variations on the same song for hours at a time. Does that mean I'm getting old?

Julie's music selection has been like discovering old friends, and making some new ones. It's a wonderful reminder to me of where I used to be, where I am now and everything that happened in-between. AND you can dance to it.

What more could you ask for in a mix CD?