Three Days - Day Two

Combine a person with lifelong insomnia and a stressful situation. Add several machines that beep and alarm at various intervals and a nursing staff that enters the room to check temperature and blood pressure every few hours and you can understand why I wasn't able to get any sleep.

Friday morning around ten, Dr. George arrived to check my progress. I was pleased and excited to hear that my cervix had softened and thinned and I was ready for the next step in inducing labor. Enter the hospital grade double breast pump and instructions to pump for twenty minutes on, twenty minutes off.

Within the first hour, I began to feel contractions. At the time, I was hopeful and optimistic that we would have a baby by the end of the day. For the next 12 hours, I pumped and I breathed through mild contractions. When I would stop pumping, the contractions would sustain for 15 minutes and then fade.

Around ten o'clock that night Dr. George came back to assess me. I told him that the contractions were not sustaining for long when I was off the pump. He checked my cervix and I was dilated less than one centimeter. My body wasn't cooperating. I was crushed.

We were out of options and the only thing left to do was to move to chemical inducement. I had heard a lot of things about Pitocin, none of them great. But this was the only remaining choice.

The Pitocin drip was added to my IV immediately, to be dialed up every half hour thereafter. Contractions started again within 30 minutes but the quality was different. They were stronger from the beginning and increased in intensity as the night wore on and the dosage became progressively higher.

I breathed through each wave. Jeff massaged my back. We walked the halls of the hospital, stopping so I could squat with each contraction. I sat on a birth ball. I leaned over the bed. I stood and swayed my hips. I listened to every mix CD that you all sent to me, some of them twice. It felt like you were there with me, cheering me on.

Between surges, Jeff and I talked and even joked and laughed. He was amazing. After six hours, the intensity was really increasing. It was getting harder to get up and walk around.

At this point I was on my second night with no sleep and no food and my body was working hard. I was beginning to tire and the contractions were still gaining momentum. I kept telling myself it wouldn't be much longer and I would be able to start pushing.

Dr. George arrived around 4am to check my progress. I was dilated 2.5 centimeters. I don't think I can express how it felt to hear that I had made so little progress after 18 hours of contractions and six on Pitocin. I was devastated and exhausted.

We decided to turn the Pitocin off for the night so I could get some rest and resume in the morning. But my body had other ideas. After the Pitocin was turned off, my body continued to labor hard. Each contraction was stronger than the last. I had no strength left to deal with them.

And that is when I lost my mind. Somewhere during that time I took a shower and also got into the whirlpool tub, but nothing was helping me relax enough to deal with the contractions the way I needed to.

I turned into a crazy babbling mess. In my mind, I kept telling myself that I would just go home, that I was done. Out loud, I told Jeff that I couldn't do this anymore, that I needed something for pain.

We tried a mild narcotic in my IV, but it didn't even take the edge off. I don't remember asking for the epidural, nor do I remember getting it. I had a brief moment of lucidity after it was administered in which I had to talk myself down from a panic attack because I couldn't feel my legs.

But the intensity of the contractions was gone. It felt more like mild pressure, rather the freight train I had been dealing with earlier. I could relax and rest a little bit.

It was 6am on Saturday - the third day.   

Comments

[wordgirl]

All of this sounds so familiar to me. I'd be more nervous reading this if I didn't already know about the happy ending.

[Mom101]

Wow Tammy, this is so vivid. Some of it is a little (too) familiar. But gotta say, I'm a big fan of that epi. Whatever gets you through it. You're a trooper, m'dear. Big time.

[stella]

YOWZAZ!!

The last bit scares the CRAP OUT OF ME. I was there with you...and then you get to the part about having a panic attact b/c you can't feel your legs, and that freaks me out.

any numbing sensation freaks me out...so i can't imagine what that must feel like! ACK. did you puke? i think i'd puke. or faint.

but at least the pain was gone eh??

can't wait to here more. you go girl!

[madge]

Can't wait for the happy ending...

[Heather]

Ugh I have trouble getting by on a normal day with less than a good night's sleep and food. I'm glad it ends well (thanks for the spoiler photos)

[DebbieDoesLife]

Oh sweetie! I feel for every minute you went through. I remember with my first one - the pain, the frustration, the feeling of no control. But, look at the reward. He is so gorgeously adorable and delicious! And, to go through that with your wonderful husband. You both earned your stripes.

[mayberry]

Holy cow this is all VERY familiar!

[Krisco]

You poor thing. I totally relate. But I know from that next picture where things are going, so - congratulations. I am so happy for you!!!!

[mamatulip]

On the edge of my seat again...you are such a trooper.

[ceece]

Oh TB I had to laugh at the part about you explaining why you didn't get any sleep. I'd like to meet the cool customer mama that did sleep through her labor! :-)

I really hope you're not mentally beating yourself up about this. I'm so proud of you for doing what was right for the M-man!

[Chris]

You did what you needed to do to get the job done!!

[jen]

just amazed. I'd be a babbling, weepy mess. hell, that's what I'm like w/o my advil for my cramps.

cannot wait to hear day 3 of 3. My guess is it gets better.

[Kendra]

You're a trooper. I had the same issues with pitocin, and the panic attacks, and crying because I did not see how I could possibly do it. But it all worked in the end.

[Tink]

I can't let Hoop read this. You handled it too well. I have a feeling I'm going to be a bitcher and a screamer. Wouldn't want him to expect otherwise (someday). ;)

Can't wait for the rest!!

[Arabella]

You were amazing. I doubt I could have gone so long without pain meds.