Growth Spurt
Newborns have their first growth spurt around 3 weeks. Myles seems to be right on track, if a little early. He's been cranky, wanting to eat every hour or so and not sleeping for the past two days. I think parents hit a growth spurt around the same time.
Once you begin to emerge from the REM deprived fog you realize that in the midst of the crazy theorizing and experimentation, you're actually starting to catch on to some things.
You find that giving the baby a bath or taking him out to run errands and feeding him in public isn't as daunting as you expected it to be.
You discover that your husband is just better at some things with the baby than you are and you let him do those things whenever you can.
You learn that patience and calm are easier to find if you take a deep breath and remember you are the entire world of the tiny being in your arms.
You realize things won't always be the way they are right now. In fact things have already changed from just two weeks ago. And someday it won't be this intense. Someday the baby will be able to talk and walk and maybe he won't need you so much. And when that day comes, you might actually be a little sad.
You begin to see that this job that you've taken on is the biggest thing you'll ever do. You figure out that you can never be perfect at it, but you can be present and aware. You can do your best to learn and teach and nurture and accept unconditional love in return.
You remember that you and your husband are still the same people you were three weeks ago. You still swear like longshoremen and laugh over bathroom humor - you just do it more often and at odd times of the day and night. You still love each other like crazy, only now your love has expanded and continues to increase exponentially with each passing day.
You begin to grasp exactly how your life has changed and how it might stay the same.
You realize that you're a parent. That tiny baby made you a mother and whatever else happens you will always and forever be altered. From now forward, you will continue to evolve, to transform into truer and better versions of yourself.
And you can't wait for the next iteration.




Thanks for sharing - lovely thoughts, TB!
Posted by: Chris | May 18, 2007 at 10:24 AM
Gawd, it's so true! Last night Booby said he wished Graham would stay the size he is forever, and we could stay in our mid thirties forever. I wish we could stop time.
Posted by: Mrs. Harridan | May 18, 2007 at 01:58 PM
I love that you let us live this through your eyes. You didn't disappear from the blogosphere like I feared. I would have missed you! Instead, I feel like you're giving us a gift. Because I'll be honest. Parenthood scares me. But reading your posts makes me think it'll all be OK.
Posted by: Tink | May 18, 2007 at 05:16 PM
Your posts are just what I need!
Posted by: Suebob | May 18, 2007 at 06:47 PM
Even though I have never been a mom, I love reading your posts and basking in yours and Jeff's enjoyment of your beautiful son.
Posted by: Ortizzle | May 18, 2007 at 06:52 PM
I never get tired of seeing his pictures. I can just imagine how the top of his head smells.
Posted by: wordgirl | May 18, 2007 at 11:12 PM
I never get tired of seeing his pictures. I can just imagine how the top of his head smells.
Posted by: wordgirl | May 18, 2007 at 11:13 PM
Oh, what a beautiful baby picture! Thanks!
Posted by: Jen M. | May 19, 2007 at 12:07 AM
Glad to see that you've settled in...all of you.
Posted by: sumo | May 19, 2007 at 04:06 PM
Holy crap...where have I been? You lose a link to a blog, and when you find it and come back...THEY HAVE HAD A KID!!!!
HOORAY!
Posted by: Isabel | May 20, 2007 at 02:10 PM
"transforming into truer and better versions of yourself"
That's so true. Being a mother tested my limits and forces me to be my very best self.
In losing our self, we find ourself--now that Bible verse makes sense to me.
Posted by: V-Grrrl | May 20, 2007 at 02:41 PM
What a beautiful post - keep on enjoying!
Posted by: jeanie | May 21, 2007 at 05:02 PM
Seriously, every time I click over to your blog...I start weeping the moment the page loads. You have such a way of capturing the essence of each moment, each milestone (or Mylestone!). The days pass quickly during the newborn period...which is kinda good, but oh so terribly sad (especially when those moments are gone). Treasure each day, embrace it fully, feel it, soak it in.
A favorite movie line of mine comes from V for Vendetta. In the movie V is having a conversation with Evie, right after she has been tortured. She is experiencing intense emotions, confusion, but triumph as well. V holds Evie as she crumbles to the ground and says to her, "This might be the most important moment of your life. Commit to it."
I say that same thing to myself many times each day. When I feel tired, defeated, or at a loss...I remind myself not to run away from any of my life's moments. I commit myself to each moment...even the hard ones.
Exactly as it sounds like you are doing. You are such a wonderful mother. Present in each moment; present for you, present for Myles. I can't wait to read about the first time that Myles tells you he loves you.
Posted by: Bobita~ | May 21, 2007 at 05:55 PM
That was simply incredible.
I needed you as a friend when I first had a newborn. I'm glad that you have such humor and perspective.
Posted by: mothergoosemouse | May 21, 2007 at 08:13 PM
A friend with three kids keeps asking me when we're going to try for a third, and I smile and shake my head no. I think 'nothing could make me want to do pregnancy/newborn-hood again.' Except, somehow, you do. You make me miss it, and I never thought I would. Newborns have their own special pull on us, like benevolt, but mentally-challenged dictators. Incontinent with soft skin.
Myles is gorgeous Tammie.
Posted by: Mignon | May 22, 2007 at 10:46 AM
Wow--some parents take a lifetime to learn that, or never do at all. You and Myles and Jeff are so lucky to have each other.
Posted by: mayberry | May 22, 2007 at 12:54 PM
Oh my God...yes, yes, yes. Beautifully said. Beautifully written. Thank you.
Posted by: Christen | May 22, 2007 at 08:13 PM
Yes. Yes. But I never could have said it as beautifully as you.
Posted by: Nancy | May 25, 2007 at 09:02 PM