Frankie Was Onto Something

Jeff and I spent the entire weekend in an intensive Hypnobirthing course.  Since we have opted for an unmedicated, water birth, we needed to learn some techniques to help with relaxation and labor management.

Hypnobirthing relies heavily on deep relaxation, breathing and guided imagery. The theory is that the more relaxed a woman is, the easier it will be to pay attention to her body and the mind/body connection and to let the natural course of birthing do its job.

When I initially decided that I wanted to birth my baby outside of a hospital and away from modern medical intervention, I knew that I was going to need to learn some new ways of thinking about childbirth and how to manage the incredibly difficult work involved with bringing a baby into the world.

What I learned through the Hynobirthing course and in doing additional reading and research into natural childbirth confirms a lot of what I already know.  The connection between what we think and what we feel is incredibly strong. If we believe something is going to be arduous and unpleasant and difficult, then it will be. One of the strengths of this process is that is works to eliminate fear and negativity from our lexicons.

I know it sounds a bit hokey, but I truly believe in the power of positive thought. I'm not talking about Oprah's "Secret" or any modern watered down, Mc-Metaphysicality. What I'm saying is that in my own life, choosing the positive over the negative has worked for me time and time again. We participated in a fear releasing guided imagery exercise yesterday that was so powerful, it was almost as good as therapy.  

I've seen videos in the last few days of women who, through self-hypnosis and deep relaxation, were able to manage their childbirth with a minimum of pain. I watched several women deliver their own babies. It was truly amazing and awe inspiring.

The experiences I saw were so completely different than what I had witnessed at my nephew's birth and what we see every day in traditional media. It was incredibly empowering to realize that aside from unforeseen complications, I can have control over the kind of  birth experience that I have.

Another Hypnobirthing concept that I absolutely love is that birth is a journey that mother, father and baby take together. My body works in tandem with that of my baby to allow the birthing process to unfold. This idea has already created a stronger bond between me and my son and between Jeff and me.

I know that there are many aspects of childbirth over which we have no control. I understand that this process is not going to be easy. I realize that there can be no rigid "plan" for how things are going to happen. But there are certain things I can do:

• I can continue to practice the breathing and relaxation techniques I've learned over the last few days.
• I can prepare my body by continuing to eat healthy foods, do prenatal yoga and exercise so that I'm in optimum physical shape to do the work of childbirth.
• I can request that my friends and family only share positive, joyful stories about their own experiences with childbirth.
• Jeff and I can work on our own to release any fear and negativity that we bring to this process.
• Jeff and I can work together to learn ways in which he can assist me in achieving calm and relaxation.

I'm so excited about the prospect of birthing this baby. I can't wait to see what my body is capable of doing and to experience what I have been told time and again by every woman who has a child is something truly miraculous and amazing.

Most of all, I'm looking forward to experiencing this milestone with Jeff and to meeting our son for the first time. In the end, no matter how it happens, it's going to be incredible and the eight weeks or so between now and then feel simultaneously like a lifetime and the blink of an eye.  

 

Comments

[Chris]

My stepsister had her first son at home, with a midwife's assistance, and everything was just fine. He's 17 now. :)

[Mignon]

T, I've been thinking about your plan, and how right it is for you, and one thing occurred to me while reading this particular post: my second birth was a relative breeze because I knew what was going on, I knew how to manage the pain, and my body was familiar with the process. Women always say the second/third/fourth babies are so much easier, and it's not because we're all stretched out. I think it's because we're comfortable with the process.

You seem to be well on your way to eliminating the fear of the unknown that can seriously hinder a rewarding birth experience. Good for you!

[Jess]

I LOVE the idea of this. If I ever manage to get and stay pregnant (I have a uterus made of teflon, I swear) I will be high risk and won't be able to do this, but I think your approach is a fantastic one. You're going to be awesome.

[wordgirl]

So good to prepare yourself against the pain/fear cycle which--if we're honest --is the real culprit that prevents healthy women in non-high risk situations to have the kind of birth you desire. Exhaustion plays a role,too, so there's no such thing as getting too much rest right now. Also...exercise. Walking's good. I can't wait for the big day.

[mamatulip]

As soon as I saw the title of this post in Bloglines, I was all, "Frankie says relax!!"

I am a big, big believer in the power of positive thought too. I believe in the best of intentions, of focusing yourself on them and on the positive. I don't think it sounds hokey at all.

I hope your birth experience is all that you want it to be, and then some.

[Sillychick]

One of the videos I saw was of a woman at home. She was in a plexiglass "pool" so you could see as the baby emerged. Her husband and daughter watched and as she reached down to guide the baby out, all I could think was, "Amazing!"
Women are strong creatures!

[Elizabeth]

I just wanted to let you know that I just checked on your CD's I sent you for your labor music CD exchange and USPS is returning them to me for some crazy reason. When I get them back I'll try again! Just wanted to let you know I'm not a slacker who promised cd's and then didn't deliver, I promise!
I am really getting excited for you and I can't wait to hear all about your birth story. No matter what, being a mom is GREAT :) !

[Tink]

That is so cool! I can't wait to hear about your experience. I've always known I didn't want to have my children in a hospital. Natural water birth sounded kind of interesting. But there are so few people to consult on the matter. This method just seems so... you. ((HUG))

[Heather]

A friend of mine had a home birth, no medical intervention and things went fantastically. Her daughter is absolutely gorgeous and she said it was the most incredible experience of her life. It's truly amazing what the body can do and remember women have been doing this for thousands of years, and there's no doubt that you can be among them. Will be cheering you on from a long way away (and likely asking about how it went for when we finally toss the pills).

[Jessie]

That's something I'm interested in learning about, but not something I'm sure my husband would be on board with. He wants to figure out how to make it completely pain free and easy for me because he freaks out if I'm in any sort of pain. He's slowly coming to the realization that might not be possible, but he would still rather that it was much easier than it is.

I hope this works for you and that the whole experience is better than you can imagine. I can't wait to hear about how it goes. Maybe if I have a good story to share with him he'll be more likely to go along with my plan.

[Carol]

It's true... the more relaxed you are the less uncomfortable you are. I remember a nurse telling a student nurse that had just witnessed my sons birth that what she just saw was not typical, but that it could be if moms in labor would learn relaxation techniques. All the hehehe's in the world won't help if you can't relax and be a calm participant in your childs birth.

[mayberry]

It is going to be incredible and I can't wait to hear about it! When I had my 2nd it was important to me to try for a VBAC. In the end it didn't happen, but the trying was what mattered. So you're well on your way to having a wonderful birth.

[Ortizzle]

Sounds like a plan! I am also a true believer in positive thought patterns. Really getting excited for you and the Big Day!

[Angie]

You can do it! My husband and I studied Hypnobirthing last year and had a natural childbirth in May '06.

I will say this: if something (read: bebe) should be in a position that is less-than-optimum (read: sunny-side up), please be prepared for how to manage the challenge. The Hypnobirthing book does not talk about challenges too much and can leave a student unprepared for those challenges. I understand that thinking positively is necessary and that dwelling on what could happen is counter-productive. However, I wish I had read at least another book about natural childbirth to get another perspective.

I am now 22-weeks pregnant and will be having another natural childbirth. I will also be reading Ina May's book this time around. Of course, the road is paved and this one could be much easier!

Best of luck! It's a wonderful time and very rewarding, especially knowing that your baby is drug-free and safe.

[jeanie]

My sister in law had her last baby with a midwife in a private hospital (long story involving remote outback medical options) who managed to teach her hypnobirthing techniques while she was in labour - and she managed to get my 8lb 10oz big headed nephew out with less trauma than her first two 7lbers - she is an absolute convert and preaches it!

Good luck

[Ellie's Mommie]

Congrats! I wish you the best of luck. I'm not nearly as courageous!! Counting down these last 10 weeks though and hoping I get as lucky as my mother (she had a total of 2 major contractions!) I think she's a show off!! :)

[Her Bad Mother]

"I can request that my friends and family only share positive, joyful stories about their own experiences with childbirth."

YES. DO THIS.

Because for however difficult childbirth can be, it is always, always miraculous, and joyful, and brilliant, and to seize upon this is to seize that miracle.

[Bobita~]

What a beautiful post.

(I looooove the idea of a fear-releasing exercise. I'm immediately looking into it.)

I will never forget giving birth to my daughter. By accident, it was my first natural birth. I had an epidural with my first son, and although I meant to have an epidural with my daughter...it didn't work. So, in the middle of giving birth, I felt my fear and anxiety and was not making any progress...I was fighting it. My doctor stopped everything, he came over beside me, leaned over me, made very intentional eye contact with me and very quietly said, "Bobita, look at me. You can do this. This is your body, this is YOU. Your daughter is right here. You can do this."

His words reminded me that it was my choice. I heard him. I released my fear; I felt the fear just melt away and within seconds, I welcomed my daughter into the world.

You are a very wise woman, indeed.

[DebbieDoesLife]

I hope everything goes just according to plan. You sound so well-prepared. I think its neat that everyone can choose a different way to give birth.

[Mama Hypno]

What wonderful and inspirational sharing! I send my couples who are taking HypnoBirthing sessions with me "Happy Birthing" Stories to support them and inspire them as they travel their journey to welcome their babies. May I post your share? BTW, I had my first child in a birthing center and my second at home; both with hypnosis---very empowering and beautiful experiences!

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